


the boy on the other side

by vvelna



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bullying, Diary/Journal, Epistolary, Family Member Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kid Fic, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:39:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16321058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvelna/pseuds/vvelna
Summary: A young Phil moves into a new house with a strange closet and an interesting boy living on the other side of the wall, and writes about it in his diary.





	the boy on the other side

**Author's Note:**

> b-i-n-g-o! the prompts for this fic were "closets," "age changes (up or down)," and "coming out." (also "epistolary" again)
> 
> in this fic, dan and phil are the same age, and somewhere around 11/12/13ish

Dear Diary,

We just moved in. I haven’t unpacked anything. My room is really big and I guess I’m supposed to be happy about that but I still feel kind of not good about not sharing with Martyn. Mum says we both deserve our own rooms now but this house is sort of scary.

There’s another family living on the other side of the wall. I think the mum came over to introduce herself but I pretended to be asleep napping in my room. I think they have kids but I haven’t seen them. I miss my friends.

*

Dear Diary,

I started at the new school today. There were some nice teachers. I got lost trying to find my classroom and it was really embarrassing.

Last night I heard weird noises when I was trying to sleep.

*

Dear Diary,

There’s two closets in my room and one of them is really weird. One is just a normal one with a rack for clothes but the other is a tiny door that open into this dark deep space like a tunnel going back. It’s very dusty and I bet there are spiders in there. Martyn dared me to go inside but I wouldn’t. He didn’t either.

My room is too big. Last night I saw weird shadows and there were things creaking. I wanted to go to Martyn’s room but he has a lock on his door and also I was too scared to get out of bed.

  
*

Dear Diary,

I saw a kid from my school leaving the other side of the house today so I guess he lives there. I don’t know his name because we aren’t in the same class but I’ve seen him in the halls.

*

Dear Diary,

Last night was really scary. I think there was someone or something in my room. It was moving toward my bed so I jumped out and ran to the little closet. I don’t know why but I had to get away. I crawled back really far. I must have fallen asleep in there because I woke up there. I got cobwebs all over but didn’t see any spiders. At the very back of the closet there’s a door just like the one on my end, but it’s boarded up.

The boy on the other side of the house is named Dan. I know because I heard someone say “hey, Dan” to him in the hall. Then they said something really mean I’m not going to write here but it made me feel ashamed even though I didn’t say it. I don’t know why.

*

Dear Diary,

I slept in the closet again. I feel safer in there. I can hear things moving in my room at night, but they don’t follow me in there. I crawled all the way back to the door on the other side again, and there was light coming in from underneath it. Also I could hear music. It was really faint and I couldn’t tell who it was but it was nice.

At school I’ve made some friends. I’m going over to one of their houses on Saturday to play video games.

*

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been busy with school and hanging out with my new friends and also I’m really tired all the time because sleeping in the closet isn’t that comfortable but I can’t sleep in my room so I don’t sleep well.

Me and Dan both came out of our front doors at the same time today and I tried to say hi but he ignored me. Maybe he just didn’t hear me. I don’t think he has many friends at school because I never see him with anyone else.

Mum said I should go over and introduce myself. Also they have another son but he’s younger. I lied and told her I’d already introduced myself to Dan at school. I keep thinking about what the kid called him in the hall and it makes me feel really weird inside. I don’t know how to explain it.

*

Dear Diary This  
      might be hard to  
         read I’m  writing  
    in the closet it’s  
dark and   I

    can’t see there’s  
someth  
           ing in my  
room again   I think  
     but also on the   
other side so I’m  
trap ped in here

*

Dear Diary,

Last night was bad but also really good. You won’t believe why! I started crying while I was hiding because I was really really scared and there was a knock on the boarded up door (that made me more scared at first) but then there was a voice and it asked me if I was OK and I said no and then it said “Are you Phil? I’m Dan I live over here” !!!! and we started talking about lots of things like he was trying to distract me. We talked about school and movies and music. He likes Muse! And then I guess at some point I fell asleep.

I waited outside the house for a while this morning for him to come out so we could walk to school together but he never did. I was late and I didn’t see him the halls.

*

Dear Diary,

I haven’t seen Dan at school in a week. I’m still sleeping in the closet but I never see a light on under the door. I tried knocking on it and calling his name but I don’t get an answer. I tried to listen to hear him moving around which I guess is creepy but I didn’t hear anything anyway.

I finally told Mum about the noises in my room and asked if she thought it might be an animal or a ghost and she got really serious and talked to Dad and said they thought maybe I should see a therapist because the move had stressed me out. I told them I was just joking around about the ghost or whatever and I have lots of friends and I’m not stressed. I don’t know if they believed me but they stopped talking about a therapist. I didn’t say anything about sleeping in the closet because I got afraid that they’d stop me.

*

Dear Diary,

It’s been two weeks since I saw Dan. I don’t know if he’s been at school or not because he could be there and I just haven’t seen him or he could be avoiding me. Maybe he got really annoyed from me being a baby and keeping him up talking to me. Martyn used to get annoyed when I couldn’t sleep and would make him talk to me.

I don’t like spending time in my room during the day. When I’m at home I try to be other places. Or I go to my friends’ houses a lot. They haven’t asked why I won’t invite them over. I like to sit in the closet with a flashlight and read or listen to music.

*

Dear Diary,

I’m worried about Dan and I miss him even though we only talked once and I couldn’t even see him so I wrote him a letter to slip under the closet door. I’m going to write down what I wrote in the letter here for my records:

Dear Dan,

Hi! It’s Phil. I haven’t seen you at school in a while and I was just wondering if you’re OK. If you want you can come over some time and we can hang out, or I could come to your side of the house. Thanks for talking to me that other night when I was scared. I think you’re really cool.

Talk to you soon! (I hope)

Your friend,

Phil

I put some stickers on the letter and I hope he doesn’t think they’re too babyish. I don’t even know if he’ll read it.

*

Dear Diary,

DAN WROTE BACK!!! I found the letter this morning when I woke up. It was all crumpled from me rolling my head over it in my sleep. I’m going to tape it in here:

Phil,

Hi! Thanks for writing and sorry I haven’t been around I’ve been sick and staying home from school. I think you’re cool too and I would like to hang out but I don’t think we should do it in the house we can go somewhere else. Do you want to see a movie on Friday after school? You can pick. Write me back or just wait outside for me on Friday if you want to.

Bye!

I’m wrote him back saying that I want to go and I’m really excited.

  
*  
Dear Diary,

Dan never wrote back and I waited for him after school on Friday but he never showed up.

I don’t know what I did wrong but I don’t think he wants to be my friend.

*

Dear Diary,

I tried sleeping in my bed last night but I woke up and I couldn’t breathe. I think this house is really haunted or my parents are right and I’m crazy. I wish we never moved here. I miss my old friends and my old room with Martyn and my old house. I hate it here.

*

Dear Diary,

I saw Dan at school today but I sort of hid so he wouldn’t see me. I’m really embarrassed.

*

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I went to see the therapist and she said she thinks I have anxiety from the move and from what happened with my grandma dying in the old house. I told her a little about Dan and how I want to be his friend but I’m afraid to go talk to him and whenever I see him at school I feel nervous and my stomach does flippy things. I also told her he gets bullied a lot at school and I feel bad because I’ve seen it happen but I don’t do anything about it.

She said trying to be his friend and be nice to him might be a good way to do something when I feel like I can’t do anything to stop what’s happening to him. I just need to be brave and remember how fun it was to talk to him before. Also she wants me to try sleeping in my room and not the closet. She said I can start by sleeping in the other closet, then maybe outside it, and work my way to the bed. It sounds stupid but I am tired of sleeping on the floor so I guess I’ll try.

*

Dear Diary,

I was really brave today. when I passed Dan in the hall I stopped him and asked him if he wanted to eat lunch with me. he looked really happy. I was going to invite him to eat with me and my friends but then I thought that might make him nervous and also I wanted it to be just the two of us, so we went outside and ate alone. He said he forgot to bring his lunch so I shared mine with him. We talked a lot and it was even better than last time because I wasn’t tired or scared. Also I could see him and the way he smiles and laughs. He has these really nice dimples and he plays with his hair too much. We didn’t talk about the letters or when he never showed up that Friday. I invited him to the movies this time and he said he really wanted to go. I really really hope we get to go this time.

*

Dear Diary,

We went to the movies and got the biggest popcorn ever and ate the whole thing. The movie was really bad and these old people behind us got mad at us for laughing at the wrong parts and it was so embarrassing but I still had the best time.

I really like Dan and I’m so glad he’s my friend.

*

Dear Diary,

I convinced Dan to sit with me and the rest of my friends at lunch. At first it was awkward and he was really quiet but by the end he was talking more and making jokes and I think everyone liked him. That made me really happy.

I’ve started sleeping in my bed. I’ve had lots of nightmares but it’s getting easier. When I hear noises I remind myself it’s just the wind and the pipes because the house is really old. I’m still seeing the therapist and she said she’s really proud of me.

*

Dear Diary,

Me and Dan have been hanging out a lot. I think he might be my best friend or at least my best friend in this town. Today we actually hung out in my room. I asked him about why the door on his side of the closet is boarded up from the inside. He said the family who lived here before mine kept my bedroom empty and he’d sneak in there when his parents were fighting or his brother was being annoying or he just wanted to be completely alone. But then the family found out and he got in a lot of trouble and they boarded up the door.

But now I live here so we borrowed some of Dad’s tools to take the nails out of the boards. Now Dan can come over whenever he wants.

*

Dear Diary,

I was walking to school with Dan today and one of the kids who’s mean to Dan at school sometimes saw us and called us something bad. There were other kids with him and they all laughed and I was really embarrassed and now Dan won’t talk to me. When we got to school he left me really fast and he didn’t come to lunch.

*

Dear Diary,

I think I have a crush on Dan and I don’t know what to do.

We’re still hanging out and having fun but things are kind of awkward sometimes. We haven’t talked about what happened but I can’t stop thinking about it and that I might really be what that kid called us and I don’t want Dan to know and stop being my friend.

I can’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t want to tell my therapist because what if she says I need to stop being friends with Dan?

*

Dear Diary,

I had a dream that I kissed Dan and now I’m afraid to see him. I told Mum I was sick and she’s letting me stay home from school.

I heard Dan knocking on the closet door this morning like we sometimes do but I pretended not to hear him.

*

Dear Diary,

Yesterday when I stayed home from school was Friday so now it’s Saturday and Dan actually came to the front door and asked Mum if I was home and she came up to get me but I told her to tell Dan I was sick. I don’t think she believed me but she must have told him because he left. I cried a lot.

*

Dear Diary,

Dan just slipped a letter under the door. I’m afraid to pick it up. It’s probably him telling me that I’m a bad friend and a gross person and he doesn’t want to speak to me ever again. And he’ll probably want to board up the closet doors so our rooms aren’t connected.

 

OK I couldn’t wait anymore I have to know what it says. I haven’t read it yet but when I do I’m going to tape it here:

Phil,

Hey, it’s Dan. You probably know that. If I did something wrong I’m sorry. I think maybe you might have figured out how I feel about you and it probably freaks you out and it freaks me out too so I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this but I am. I really like being friends with you though that’s all. You’re a really fun person and you’re honestly the first friend I’ve had in a long time. I don’t want to have to stop being friends just because I like you maybe as something else too. But I understand if you want to. Just tell me to leave you alone and I promise I will.

Dan

*

Dan,

I really really really really really really really really like you.

That scares me but it’s true. I REALLY like you and I never ever want to stop being your friend.

If you still want to be my friend too, can you meet me outside in ten minutes? Or write me if you can’t or don’t want to, but I’ll be waiting.

See you soon (I hope)

Your friend,

Phil

  
*

Dear Diary,

I’m really happy.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :)
> 
> [ reblog/like on tumblr ](https://velvetnautilus.tumblr.com/private/179125332290/tumblr_pgpplguKm91wm9q5f)


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